This is a reprint of a selection from a Home Economics test entitled:

The Good Wife Guide.

I’ve taken a few liberties with it and turned it into:

The Guide For Good boys. A primer

For slavery with Lauren

The Guide says for the wives

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return from work. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

I say:
Have dinner ready when I get home from the spa.  Be sure you are well acquainted with the dishes I prefer and how to make them.   Remember, it’s all about Me, and My needs are all that matters.

The wive’s guide says:

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

I say:
Prepare yourself.  Instead of loafing for those last 15 minutes, do a quick check of the house so I am not distracted by clutter.

Since you are as gay as I tell you, you’ll wear a ribbon in your hair, or around your balls. My day needs amusement and your job is to make sure I find you amusing.

The text says:

Gather up school books, toys, papers etc. and then run a dust cloth over the tables. During the colder months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. Minimize all noise.

I say:

It’s the slave’s job to make sure the ambient temperature is perfect and to pay the utility companies so that it is. I should never notice a variation in my preferred temperature, nor suffer complaints about the cost of the utility bill.

The text says:  At the time of his arrival eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first, remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

I say:
I better not hear the TV blaring anything but HGTV when I get home ,although its permissible to play My  favorite music to welcome me home from shopping with your credit cards. I will tell you whatever I feel like saying when I arrive (and any other time for that matter.)  Your turn to talk comes only when I decree it.  My topic of conversation is the only important thing.

The book says:

Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

I say:

Every evening is Mine.  I’ll do what I want, with who I want, and when I want, with or without you. If I decide to take other slaves out with Me, I will leave you a list of chores to complete so you are not bored.

The text says:

Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.

I say:

After the slave returns from work, it’s time for him to make the home a place of peace, order and tranquility, so that I am treated like the Goddess I am.  Complaints will be greeted with the ball gag.

The book says:

Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner, or even stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom.

I say:

If you’re going to be home from work too late to cook dinner, you better make reservations. If you don’t come home all night, don’t bother coming home because the new slave will have already changed the locks.

The book says:

Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange the pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness.

Have My coffee ready at the times I demand.  Arrange My pillow and kneel to remove My shoes and worship My feet. Speak only if spoken too.  I dont’ have to remind you I’m the Mistress do I?  Whatever I say is fair, is fair. Whatever I say is truth, is truth.

The book says:

Once he has had a chance to have his evening meal clear the dishes and wash up promptly. If your husband should offer to help decline his offer as he may feel obliged to repeat this offer and after a long working day he does not need the extra work.

Once I have eaten and critiqued your meal for improvements, you will don the maid outfit and clean the dishes and kitchen promptly. You may of course take your meal in the dog dish in front of Me, while I lounge on the sofa and put My feet up on your back.

You do not have to worry about Me helping you with the dishes.  However you may ask on occasion, because it will give Me an excuse to laugh and belittle you and to use your ass as target practice for My new crop.

The textbook says:
Encourage your husband to pursue his hobbies and interests and be supportive without seeming to encroach. If you have any little hobbies yourself try not to bore him speaking of these, as women’s interests are often rather trivial compared to men’s.

All of My hobbies take precedence.  I will choose hobbies that are appropriate for you, and you’ll be interested in what I tell you to be interested in and nothing else, perhaps sewing, cooking, wine making.  You’ll clean the house before I put you in your cage for the evening, and think ahead to My breakfast needs.

The text:

Once you have both retired to the bedroom prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom as he would have to do for his train. But remember to look your best when going to bed.

My version:

You will always prepare yourself in the event I call you to My chambers. You will shave your genitals of stray hairs and wear any garments I have designated for you. If you are called to My presence, you will then be ready.  If I do not call you, leave Me the fuck alone. You only use the bathroom when you’re sure I do not need it.

The old text:

Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night. When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him. If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it.

And Lauren rules:
Try to achieve a look that I require. If I say apply face-cream or hair rollers, you’ll so so without complaint.  When it comes to the possiblity of intimate relations, you’re more likely to hear me having sex through the walls with someone with a bigger dick then you. Remember your slave vows and in particular your commitment to obey Me.   I may give you extra chores if I’m entertaining a man without regard to your sleep needs.

The text:

In all things be lead by your husband’s wishes, do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy.

Lauren says:

When it comes to intimacy, My wishes are the only thing that matters

The text

Should your husband suggest congress then accede humbly all the while being mindful that a man’s satisfaction is more important than a woman’s.

Mine:
If I demand satisfaction, you will do so as I have trained you.  Since your satisfaction doesn’t matter, you get to wear a chastity device.

The old text:

When he reaches his moment of fulfilment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had.

My text:
If I allow you any fulfillment, you will orgasm with the words I give you for the deed, usually consisting of something like.  “My wallet belongs to Mistress Lauren”

The old text:

Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent.

My text:
If I suggest some unusual sexual practice, it’s not a suggestion, it’s an order.  If you open your mouth to disagree, I will gag  you.

The old text:

It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your night time face and hair care products. You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes.

Mine:
You better be up before Me, having set out my clothing, adjusting the water temperature in the shower to suit Me perfectly, and as I use the shower, you will hurry and make Me a cup of coffee, timing it so that as I step out of the shower, My coffee is awaiting Me and you may dry My back.